He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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