I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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