His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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