Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
