I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
