i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
