it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
