Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
don't judge my taste in strippers
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
