I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
