well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
