it wasn't lemon gatorade
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
