HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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