I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
