Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
