Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
