we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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