I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
