Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
