He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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