so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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