Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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