I wish I could teleport
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
