This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize