There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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