what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
