repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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