I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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