help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
