Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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