put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im part way to drunk.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
