Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Randomize
