I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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