I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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