Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize