your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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