If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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