So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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