his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize