Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
