My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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