alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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