Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
