try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
