3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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