i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
