On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
