the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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