Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
