i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize