I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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