11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize