I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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