Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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