Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize