Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
