Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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