I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
