do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
