i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
