isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
