just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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