dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize