They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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