What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my phone needs a breathalizer
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
